We had a visit with the neurologist today. Interesting fellow. He seems to have a lot of hope for Sam's cognitive development given the enriching family life he suspects David and I can provide. But his encouraging words regarding this matter were followed today by the discouraging statement: "If he can survive infancy."
Yep, the neurologist believes that Sam is an "urp and a burp" away from death. Kind of a crude way of putting it if you ask me, but true nonetheless. When you've got a baby who's brain fails to send a signal to breathe, it's clear you're not dealing with a healthy, stable infant. Still, the neurologist's philosophy on child-rearing seems to run parallel to ours. We all realize that Sam's chance for physical survival might be slightly better in a hospital and, yet, a hospital is no place for a child to thrive developmentally. So we go through each day with the knowledge that Sam's next apnea event or "blue baby" episode may be his last. And at least once a day I mentally go over the steps to resuscitate an infant. "Lay baby on his back, open airway, place your mouth over baby's nose and mouth, give two small rescue breaths...."